Story 10

So now we're going to be recording my story, Mbanga's story. Yeah, okay. Go ahead. Okay, my story starts like this. I was sitting in my room and I think I was scrolling down on my phone. I actually had the same little one. It was a small phone I had. And I was scrolling, scrolling and, you know, viewing posts and videos and then I would laugh, I would be happy. And I scrolled down for a couple of minutes and I saw a post. A post from, like, I was viewing videos and posts from friends which I followed, I suppose. And I scrolled down and I saw a post and I couldn't really, like, process what it was. Where did you see it? Like, was it on Instagram? I think it was Facebook, I think. Facebook? Okay. Yeah, Facebook. You use Facebook? Yeah. No, no judgment, no judgment. Yeah, well. I don't know any Gen Z who use Facebook, that's why. That's crazy. Well, I think, I suppose I'm old school or something. It's okay. And then I was scrolling down and I saw this post. I was like, hold on, this is not true. I couldn't believe it. And then I looked at it, I stopped and I looked at it and I'm like, no, this is not true. Because it was a post of a picture of a friend who pretty much we grew up together. A friend and a neighbor we used to, like, all the childhood memories. Was it in America or was it somewhere else? When I was scrolling, I was here in America. But where do you know this friend from? I know this friend from, like, my childhood back home, back in Africa, in Burundi. Oh, that's where you're from? Yeah. That's where I'm from. I mean, I'm from Congo. My best friend's from Congo. Oh, nice. That's nice. And then we went to Burundi and then from Burundi to Buffalo here. So, I saw the post and I was like, this is not true, this is not true. It was a post saying that he's dead. Oh. Yeah, he was saying that he's dead. And I'm looking at this post, I'm like, hold on, this is not true. So, I put the phone down and then I took a walk a little bit in the room. I was like, no, that's not true. So, I went over to the living room. I'm walking, I'm like, I'm holding my head like this. I'm like, that's not true, that's not true. And then I walk over there and went to... Like, were you in shock or were you just like, no, this is not true? I don't know what it was. I was just... Like, you couldn't... I couldn't process the things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I couldn't, I didn't really feel like, I don't know how to describe. I couldn't really feel. I would just, like, get up and start walking. Like, just in denial? Like, this is not true, this is not true. So, I walked down in the living room and all the way to the room. And then I called my mother. I'm like, mother, like, I just didn't know. I didn't know what questions to ask her. So, I was like, how do I start this? And I just called her and then stayed quiet. And she never answered or she never said anything. So, I was like, okay, I just got... And then I went back off into my room. And then I was looking at her and I went into comments and said, oh, is this true? People are commenting and saying, is this true? Oh, man, R.I.P. or rest in peace and stuff like that. And I was like, no, no, no, this can't be true, this can't be true. And I somehow, I don't know, like, my finger, I think, slipped and then it scrolled back up, right? It scrolled up and then it was like a video, right? A video of like, I think somebody from somewhere in Ghana. It was a video from Ghana. Somebody was making a joke. Oh. Yeah. I mean, they're like, that's from the post to another one. So, somebody was making a joke. And then I looked at it for like a minute and a half or something. And then all of a sudden, I just gazed into the video and I'm looking at it. I already forgot about the post that I saw my best friend, my childhood best friend, who just posted that they died. And I'm just looking at this post and laughing, I'm laughing. I mean, I'm looking at this post already, like, lost memory of like. The one that you saw before. Yeah, the one that I saw. And then I just started laughing, I just started laughing. From there on, I just kept on scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. And then at the last minute, I was like, wait, hold on. And I started going back, I started going back, I started going back. And then I saw the post, I'm like, what person am I? What happened? What happened? I'm like, wow, that did not just happen. Seeing that the message says that my best friend, my childhood best friend has died. And then viewing another video and then another post and then suddenly just something, just that's it, it's gone like that. And I'm like, I didn't have any feelings of remorse to say, whoa, oh my gosh, like cry and everything. I just like, out of nowhere, just got up and like, no, this is not true, back again. And then like, just lost the memory like that. And I was like, no, this is not just happened to me. So you're just like, oh, like what happens, I'm so addicted to social media. And stuff, I'm like, wow, that did not just happen, disbelief. And I was like, wow, I'm a bad person. I started blaming myself. I'm like, no, this cannot be true. So I then called on my best friend, I think. Another one? Yeah, another best friend of mine, pretty much. And then I said, yo, did you hear the news about like, I mean, did you see the post that somebody posted, my friend posted? And I'm like, and he said, yeah, man. And I'm like, well, is it true? I said, yeah, he did. I was like, wow, wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. And I'm like, so that whole thing was just, it was just like. It was a weird experience. Yeah, it was weird. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you. It was like, I was like, what? This is my best friend. I'm supposed to be crying. I'm supposed to be like, you know, pass out or something. And then I was like, why? Why am I not feeling anything? And then, so a couple hours ago, I mean, I passed. And then I almost, I forgot about it. I forgot about it. Until then, I was just, I think I was doing my homework or something. I think I was doing my homework. And then I got up and I went to grab some food. And then we were sitting around with my family. We were eating. And my mother, after we finished, I think she got a call. She got a call. And they told her that my friend, so because my mother and, I mean, my family, my friend's family, they were pretty close. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. So they called and they say, well, we've lost the son. And so she didn't say that. I mean, we didn't hear what she said. But my mother never said anything. She just heard a message and she stayed quiet. And she cried and she went in her room and cried and cried in there. And we were like, well, are we going to be eating or what? Mother's gone. So my sister went up to check on her. She found her crying in there. She was, what happened? And she told her that my friend has died. And she came over, like, crying too. And then she told us, we were like, what happened? What happened? Like, what she's doing? And she said, mother's crying. And then she said, why? And we asked her why. She says, my best friend has died. And right then and there, I felt like that is true. That is true. I saw the post. Oh, so you don't believe the stuff that you saw online. Yeah. Emotions, I didn't feel having to feel the remorse of saying, oh, my God, my best friend has died. And everything, and crying and do all this. And then I was like, some of my siblings started crying. And I was like, wow. And then tears started coming out of my eyes. I was like, I don't understand this. What is happening? So I was like, what is this? And then I just started crying. And I got off the table, and I went over there. I'm like, wow, this is crazy. So this is all to say that the social media world has taken a lot of our humanity away. Like, 99% of people, they don't have emotions anymore. Like, something may happen, or something might be in danger or anything. And somebody else will make fun of it. And then people just forget that somebody got hurt, somebody did this, somebody did this. Something happened to someone. So when I came to realize that, I was like, wow, this is so, like, this is not me. This is so not me. Like, wow. So from then on, I took my phone, and then I broke it. Yeah, I broke it. I think I first locked it in one of the cabinets I had. I locked it in there, and then, I don't know where, I threw the keys somewhere. And I said, okay, we're never coming back. And so I threw somewhere the keys. And I started, like, focusing on other things. And days passed, days passed. And then, I don't know, I was cleaning, and then I found the keys. And I was like, what is this key for? And then I went on and opened my phone. I was like, oh, yeah, I remember. So from then on, I broke the phone. I broke the phone, and then I think I, did I throw it? I don't think I threw it. I broke it, and the screen was, like, you cannot open it and see, like, whatever, whatever. So I just put it somewhere in the room. And then, so when my mother would go to work, and then she would call me to open the door because she would come at night time, and then I would go downstairs, open the door. But she called, she called, I didn't, because there was no phone. So you couldn't go through. And then she couldn't find me. People looked for me through phone. They couldn't find me. And so she said, they keep asking me, what happened to your phone? Where did you put your phone? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. It broke. It broke. And then people say, how you broke your phone? How you broke your phone? You always break your phone. You always break your phone. I'm like, well, you know what happens. And then from then on, I say, I'm not going to be addicted to no phone anymore. I'm not going to be whatever, like, swooned into, like, social media and stuff. Yeah. So from then on, I came to realize that, like, yes, social media does. So you still don't have a phone? I do, but, like, I don't usually use it too much. I use it specifically because, you know, now. You kind of, like, really need it, yeah. So you need it to almost say anything, I suppose. Yeah. So for the school and people, like, teachers because I need mentors and stuff. So all that stuff. And pretty much going to colleges and all this. So I really need it. And then, but if it wasn't for, like, the need of having a phone, I wouldn't have had a phone. Because I think last year, the whole year ended, I did not have a phone until, like, a couple months entering into, like, the year 2020. Was it, like, hard? Since, like, that thing happened, I was like, no. I would never go back to phone again until then. So it wasn't hard for you to give up your phone because it was, like, a traumatizing event for you? Yeah. So it was pretty easy to just put it away and, yeah. I mean, even easy now. I mean, if I say, like, put it down and whatever, whatever, I would do it even years. But, you know, in this society, we need a phone. So, yeah, that's just, I mean, I've talked too much. No, it's good. It's good. I think your story is so much better than mine. But, like, it's, like, so deep. Yeah. I was really into it. No, it was really good. Yeah.